Missional Mentoring Concluding Chapter
How will this Study be
Applied?
Introduction
One of the most important aspects of the research and analysis is what
difference it makes. I have produced guidelines for mentees and mentors[1] which are based
on guidelines originally produced for a evangelical church in Scotland. It is
envisaged these new guidelines could be helpful in other UK church contexts and
wherever people are seeking to implement missional mentoring.
Another important application of this research is in the way it informs
current and future mentoring relationships. I conclude this focus on
application with a brief look at personal mentoring and how far missional
mentoring might be taken.
The Challenges of Introducing Missional Mentoring
Giving teaching to those already familiar with other models of
mentoring, spiritual direction or coaching may encounter resistance,
particularly amongst those who have had very positive relationships of a
different nature. Questions may be raised about why this kind of mentoring is
necessary. There will be a need when presenting missional mentoring to explain
the potential weaknesses of current models and the necessity of engaging
seriously in mission of a holistic nature. The potential stumbling blocks are
numerous. One significant one is that it is possible that few potential mentors
will feel they can be the kind of missionary disciples required to set a good
example to their mentees. Another significant issue is the cost in terms of
time and effort that effective missional mentoring requires from both mentor
and mentee.
How Far can Missional Mentoring be Taken?
How might missional mentoring be incorporated into church life?
Introducing mentoring to existing churches might take the form of discussions
with leaders, teaching seminars and focus groups but what might be done in a
pioneer situation? What would a new church plant look like with missional
mentoring at its core? The pioneer church planter(s) would need to be mentored
themselves if they were to genuinely model the kind of discipling needed. In
doing this a number of questions would present themselves. Would mentoring be
obligatory for those who wanted to belong to the new church, whatever their
spiritual state? Or would it be
obligatory only for those who took on responsibilities within the church? How would the church cope with providing
sufficient mentors for new believers? It may well be seen as a potential brake
on growth even if leaders mentored new believers/comers in groups because of
the big time investment needed. This may not be a negative; some would suggest
it may be better to develop the church slowly but more strongly with people who
are committed to their mentoring relationships.
Other significant questions present themselves whatever the church
context. Are all believers capable of mentoring others? My research does not
touch on this important issue but it is clearly one that needs examining
particularly in a context where all members are advised or encouraged to get a
mentor. This is also important from the point of view of aiming to train a
mentee to mentor another.
What level of training and/or experience is sufficient for people
before they can mentor others? What happens with those, particularly young
believers who need much more than mentoring to help them grow? They may for example
need significant counselling, or some kind of therapy just to survive, this may
not be available. In this case should mentoring go ahead? Are their some
Christians who are not ready or suitable to be mentored or need a special kind
of person to mentor them? How much time if any should a church leader focus on
mentoring? What would a church look like
where much of a leader’s time is taken up with mentoring a few others?
Another important question as far as introducing mentoring to an established
church concerns the barriers that may need to be overcome. Some have suggested
many potential mentors struggle with a lack of confidence about becoming a
mentor that holds them back from volunteering.
Another important question is, who initiates the mentoring relationship?
Should the church help by facilitating people getting together? These are all
important questions some of which will need to be addressed as attempts are
made to implement missional mentoring in the local church.
Thee explosion in interest in mentoring and related disciplines has led
to a plethora of definitions and points of view on how mentoring might be used
to help Christians and their local churches. Linked to this there have been
various attempts at biblical justifications for certain models of mentoring. In
this monograph, mentoring is presented as one means of discipling either
individually or in small groups. This discipling model draws heavily from the
examples of Jesus and the Apostle Paul who were not only missionaries par
excellence but trained others to be effective missionary disciples. This
missional mentoring should be seen as both strongly biblical and crucial for
the church in the UK that is facing an unprecedented missional challenge. This
is illustrated by the steep fall in church attendance (more than 60% in 20
years) of those in their twenties.[2] In this
monograph mentoring practice has been surveyed at one large church in Scotland
where mission is their highest priority. This is to discover how much mentoring
may be contributing to the production of effective missionary disciples. As
part of this analysis, the church mentoring guidelines and other literature on
the subject were examined from a theological and missiological perspective.
The Research and Mentoring Literature
What is clear from the results of the survey is that both mentors and
mentees were very positive about the contributions mentoring was making to
their lives. They all named a number of ways in which they felt their own lives
were helped, encouraged or positively challenged. What is clear is that the
relationships did, according to mentees and mentors, fit the model of mentoring
depicted in the church guidelines on mentoring closely. This is no surprise as
it is a model found in much popular mentoring literature.[3] It is
evident from the mentors and mentees I interviewed that the mentoring
relationships represented were close and supportive with high levels of mutual
trust. They are helping significantly both mentees and mentors in a number of
areas of life and faith. They seem to be good examples of what I term the
‘traditional’ model of individual mentoring conducted by more mature Christians
towards those younger in the faith.
From the gospel narratives it is clear Jesus mentored his disciples in
groups. However what many authors of mentoring literature have failed to see is
that the Apostle Paul is also likely to have mentored significantly in groups[4] and that even
his letters to individuals were written with a wider audience in mind. The
assumption then that mentoring should always be one to one is very difficult to
justify from Jesus’ and Paul’s example. The vast majority of writers on
mentoring assume mentoring is individual by definition[5] rather than to
be done in a group and yet often use Jesus and Paul as examples of best
practice. This is probably an indication of an individualistic western mindset
and is certainly a cause for concern with regard to accurate interpretation of
the Scriptures in this regard.
As some of the authors[6] on discipleship
have suggested, a small group may actually be one of the best ways of training
disciples due to the added dynamic of interaction between group members. What
is vital for any such mentoring group is that there is openness,[7] accountability
and a readiness of each member to help the others in the group become more
effective missionary disciples. Practical considerations may make individual
mentoring more suitable in many cases but it would be a mistake to exclude
group mentoring as an alternative.
One of the most significant weaknesses present in much of the literature
on mentoring is a lack of a clear goal or goals for the mentoring relationship.
This omission of a goal or apparent lack of clarity about the purpose of the
relationship can make it more difficult to measure progress or evaluate
effectiveness. It may also lead to reduced commitment as the participants begin
to question the point of spending time and effort together.
Speaking of Christian leaders he mentors, Rick Lewis says, “Because
they want to make real progress, they desire a purposeful relationship that
keeps the overall objective clearly in view and spurs them on to develop in
every area of life according to God’s agenda.”[8] .
Many the mentors are aware of the importance of setting a good example
to their mentee. What they may not be fully aware of is how strong a biblical
theme setting an example is. What is also of note is that Jesus and the apostle
Paul consciously taught and modelled humble service, self denial, and
sacrificial missionary outreach which mentors and mentees also need to commit
themselves to emulating.
Final Conclusion
If the church in the UK is to adequately address the missional
challenges it faces there is a great need for effective discipleship training.
One important part of this is through individual and group mentoring. This
discipling needs clarity of thinking with regard to its purpose and focus as
well as regular evaluation of each relationship. The revised guidelines below
are tentatively offered as a first step towards promoting reflection on an
alternative missional mentoring model. These guidelines call for mentors to
commit themselves not only to produce effective missionary disciples of their
mentees but to be the kind of self denying, self sacrificing missionary disciples who are examples worth
emulating.
New Guidelines Brochure
Mentoring –a short
guide for Mentees
Introduction
Here
at ....church we want to help people grow closer to Jesus. Mentoring is a
powerful friendship where through encouragement and support and through
holding each other to account we can become more effective missionary
disciples. This means following Jesus example in showing compassion for
outsiders as well as believers, meeting physical as well as spiritual needs,
and doing good as he commanded.
The minimum number for a mentoring relationship is
three persons! With Jesus at the Centre! Mentoring should be outward looking,
helping us become better at living out our faith in our everyday lives.
Mentoring is about encouraging each other to know God intimately (looking up) and building community
(looking in) and is vital in helping us share Him relevantly (looking out)! One of the best ways
we can spur each other on to do this is through mentoring or personal
discipleship one to one or in small groups. God uses significant relationships
to draw people closer to Himself! Here’s why:
In
Matt 28:19 Jesus says: “Go and make
disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”
Jesus’ strategy for reaching the world
was to reach a small group first in a close, relational way. As He helped them to grow, they in turn were
to help others. He chose 12 disciples to
share His life with, and even within that group he had three men he was closer
to.
The apostle Paul also spent a great
deal of his ministry teaching and training up others usually in small groups–
Timothy, Titus, Silas and others – so that they could become
the ones to teach others. He calls
Timothy ‘my true son in the faith’
and his example to the believers in Thessalonica was not just about sharing the
Gospel, but about having authentic relationships that spurred one another on to
live for God (I Thess 2:8).
Jesus
and Paul consciously set an example of sacrificial and humble servant
leadership that they asked their disciples or mentees to emulate. (Jn 13:14-15,
1 Thes 1:6-7)
The New Testament is full of ‘one
another’ and ‘together’ passages, showing our need of others to help us
grow.
What is Discipleship?
According
to the Bible discipleship is about learning and growing in our relationship
with Jesus. It is about serving God in
his world through humble self sacrifice (Luke 9:23) and joyfully ministering to
those around us. Mentoring is about helping that process. A close relationship
with another Christian(s) who commits him or herself to help us grow is a very
powerful thing.
“Let us consider how we may spur one another
on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together… but let us
encourage one another.” Heb 10:24, 25
“Teach these great truths to worthy people
who are able to pass them on to others.” 2 Timothy 2:2
Our
aim in mentoring is to encourage you to know God better, to follow Jesus with
commitment and passion, and to be guided and empowered by the Holy Spirit that
you might be a true missionary disciple of Jesus. Ultimately, the aim is that you will become a
mentor and disciple others as well as being mentored! (Matt 28:18-20)
How can Mentoring help you?
Here
are some ways we hope and pray that God will use mentoring relationships:
Mission
– we all, at times, need encouragement, advice or help as we seek to be Jesus
in word and deed to all who don’t know him
Spiritual
growth – we are seeking to continually grow as a disciple
of Jesus
Accountability
– a safe place to share our struggles and failures with one another,
encouraging one another to keep going (James 5:16); only share what you feel
happy to with your mentor
Wisdom and perspective from someone who is
committed to us
Security
and affirmation – strong relationships can remind us that we are not
alone and that others share similar problems and want to encourage us
What
is required of a mentee?
A growing love for and commitment to Jesus (John 14:21) and a desire to learn and receive
frequently from the Bible and apply it to your life (2 Timothy 3:16,17)
A love for others both Christians John
13:34 and unbelievers Luke
10:27
A
commitment to set aside time and energy
for the mentoring relationship and to pray for your mentor or group
A
readiness to set a good example of an effective missionary disciple
A
willingness to admit failure and weakness and be honest about temptation and
sin, but seek God’s help to overcome!
What
does Mentoring involve?
Recommendations
The
best way to start is to find someone of the same sex as you who you would like
to be mentored by (or join a mentoring group). This person will normally be a
more mature Christian unless you have been a growing Christian for some years
in which case someone of similar maturity may enter a mutually accountable
relationship. Ideally this will be someone who has had experience and or
training in mentoring. It is important that all formal mentoring relationships
are disclosed (to church leaders) to aid accountability and that mentors
themselves are aware of church guidelines concerning mentoring.
Practical
arrangements
Some
people meet weekly, others meet fortnightly, others less often at a location of
their choice. The important thing is that both parties are committed to meeting
regularly. At the beginning of the
relationship, discuss expectations and any specific goals in line with the
overall aim of becoming a more effective missionary disciple. It is important that you regularly review the
relationship. If you have any concerns about the relationship, talk about it,
if possible with your mentor, if not with one of the church leaders. You can always end the relationship at any
time.
Learning
and Growing
You
will need to decide with your mentor what would be most beneficial for you to
do together, depending on your needs. Some options might include:
·
doing a Bible study
·
doing fun activities, enjoying each
other’s hospitality
·
reading an inspiring Christian book
together and discussing it
·
focusing on a particular aspect of your
life (e.g. witness, relationships, being a Christian at work...)
·
doing some kind of ministry together
·
prayerful reflection on life experiences
·
prayer of all kinds
Recommended
books on Discipleship and Mentoring and Mission
Mentoring
Matters, Rick Lewis
Mentoring
for Mission, G Krallmann
Mission Shaped Evangelism, Steve
Hollinghurst
Right Here Right Now-
Everyday Mission for Everyday People, Alan Hirsch
These guidelines (based
on guidelines produced by the church see Appendix 3) were written by Giles
Knight, July 2011
Mentoring –a Short Guide
for Mentors
Introduction
Here
at ....Church we want to help people grow closer to Jesus. Mentoring is a
powerful friendship where through encouragement and support and through
holding each other to account we can become more effective missionary
disciples. This means following Jesus example in showing compassion for
outsiders as well as believers, meeting physical as well as spiritual needs,
and doing good as he commanded.
The minimum number for a mentoring relationship is
three persons! With Jesus at the Centre! Mentoring should be outward looking,
helping us become better at living out our faith in our everyday lives.
Mentoring is about encouraging each other to know God intimately (looking up) and building community
(looking in) and is vital in helping us share Him relevantly (looking out)! One of the best ways
we can spur each other on to do this is through mentoring or personal discipleship
one to one or in small groups. God uses significant relationships to draw
people closer to Himself! Here’s why:
In
Matt 28:19 Jesus says: “Go and make
disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”
Jesus’ strategy for reaching the world
was to reach a small group first in a close, relational way. As He helped them to grow, they in turn were
to help others. He chose 12 disciples to
share His life with, and even within that group he had three men he was closer
to.
The apostle Paul also spent a great
deal of his ministry teaching and training up others usually in small groups–
Timothy, Titus, Silas and others – so that they could become
the ones to teach others. He calls
Timothy ‘my true son in the faith’
and his example to the believers in Thessalonica was not just about sharing the
Gospel, but about having authentic relationships that spurred one another on to
live for God (I Thess 2:8).
Jesus
and Paul consciously set an example of sacrificial and humble servant
leadership that they asked their disciples or mentees to emulate. (Jn 13:14-15,
1 Thes 1:6-7)
The New Testament is full of ‘one
another’ and ‘together’ passages, showing our need of each other to help us
grow.
What is Discipleship?
According
to the Bible discipleship is about learning and growing in our relationship
with Jesus. It is about serving God in
his world through humble self sacrifice (Luke 9:23) and joyfully ministering to
those around us. Mentoring is about helping that process. A close relationship
with another Christian(s) for the purpose of helping each other grow is a very
powerful thing.
“Let us consider how we may spur one another
on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together… but let us
encourage one another.” Heb 10:24, 25
“Teach these great truths to worthy people
who are able to pass them on to others.” 2 Timothy 2:2
Our
aim in mentoring is to encourage the mentee to know God better, to follow Jesus
with commitment and passion, and to be guided and empowered by the Holy Spirit
that they might be a true missionary disciple of Jesus. Ultimately, the aim is that they will become
a mentor and disciple others as well as being mentored! (Matthew 28:18-20)
How can mentoring help?
Here
are some ways we hope and pray that God will use mentoring relationships:
Mission
– we all, at times, need encouragement, advice or help as we seek to be Jesus
in word and deed to all who don’t know him
Spiritual
growth – we are seeking to continually grow as a disciple
of Jesus
Accountability
– a safe place to share our struggles and failures with one another,
encouraging one another to keep going (James 5:16); Make sure a person gives
permission for you to hold them to account in a particular area of their life
so there are no misunderstandings.
Encouragement
and challenge– like Paul encouraged Timothy to ‘fight
the good fight’, we want to challenge others to be their best for God
Wisdom and perspective
from God’s word and our experience in the context of loving commitment to our
mentee (s)
Requirements of a Mentor
There
is a temptation to think that we have to be a certain type of person to be a
mentor, or have our life/ theology all sorted – not true! God can use anyone
willing to humbly serve Him and others. Here are a few basic requirements:
A
love for and commitment to Jesus John 14:21
The
best gift we can give others is our own relationship with God. We don’t need to
have all the answers but we need to be learning and growing. Our love is shown,
not least, in learning and receiving frequently from his Word and applying it
to our lives (2 Timothy 3:16,17),
as well as in our prayer life.
A
love for others both
Christians John 13:34 and unbelievers Luke 10:27
An unselfish commitment
to the mentee; to set aside time and energy for the mentoring relationship and to pray for your
mentee(s)
A
commitment to listen well to the mentee
and to what the Holy Spirit is
saying
A
readiness to set a good example of
an effective missionary disciple
A willingness to admit
failure and weakness and be honest about temptation and sin
What does Mentoring involve?
Recommendations
All mentors should themselves have a mentor as a
good example to their mentee. This also gives a helpful level of
accountability.
Practical
arrangements
Some
people meet weekly, others meet fortnightly, others less often at a location of
their choice. The important thing is that both parties are committed to meeting
regularly. At the beginning of the
relationship, discuss your hopes, expectations and any specific goals in line
with the overall aim of becoming a more effective missionary disciple. It is important that you regularly review the
relationship to assess how the relationship is progressing and allow for the
person or people being mentored to end the relationship at any point, in peace.
Learning
and Growing
Depending
on where the person you are mentoring is in their faith, you will need to
decide together what would be most beneficial for you to do. Some options might
include:
·
doing a Bible study
·
doing fun activities, enjoying each
other’s hospitality
·
reading an inspiring Christian book
together and discussing it
·
focusing on a particular aspect of life
as a believer e.g. witness, relationships, being a Christian at work
·
doing some kind of ministry together
·
reflecting on life experiences with the
help of the Holy Spirit, there may be few opportunities to reflect on our busy
lives –let’s use this one
Prayer
Commit
to pray regularly for and with each other.
Be aware that prayer often gets squeezed out and we don’t leave enough
time to pray. Chat about how you will do this – are you both comfortable enough
praying in the café, or would it be better to go to somewhere more private, or
perhaps pray together as you go for a walk? Don’t always just pray for personal
issues and the church. It is a sign of a healthy relationship to pray for the
wider world!
Caring
We
need to make a conscious effort to ask about and actively listen to the person we are mentoring. Asking, listening, praying, supporting, and
offering practical help if appropriate will help the person feel loved and
valued.
Friendship
Enjoy
each other! 1 Thessalonians 2:8 reminds us that it’s not just the Gospel that
we share with people, but our LIVES as well. Once in a while why not go
shopping together, play a game, go for a walk, go out for dinner, go to the cinema, wash the car, whatever -
just do life together.
Support
for Mentors
If
you have any concerns about the relationship, if problems come up that you are
not qualified or experienced to deal with or if you find the relationship isn’t
working out for whatever reason talk to a mature Christian. Prayer, on-going support and further training
should be made available for mentors.
Statement of Commitment
All mentors should
consider and agree to the following statement.
As mentors and disciples of Jesus we recognise
our responsibility to strive wholeheartedly to live holy and blameless lives.
We willingly deny ourselves, take up our cross daily and follow Christ. We
endeavour to be effective missionary disciples seeking to seize every
opportunity in word and deed to express the love of Jesus to all. We seek to be such good examples that we
might say with integrity follow me as I follow Christ. We pray that we might
humbly serve God’s world, his church and especially our mentees by loving them,
nurturing them, challenging them and holding them to account that they might
grow in Christ.
Discipleship Resources
On
Discipleship/ Mentoring...
Mentoring
Matters, Rick Lewis
Mentoring
for Mission, Gunter
Krallmann
Mission Shaped Evangelism, Steve
Hollinghurst
Right Here Right Now-
Everyday Mission for Everyday People, Alan Hirsch
For
possible use when you meet up…
The
Bible!
Essential 100,
Whitney Kuniholm (Your Journey through the Bible in 100 readings)
Mission Shaped Evangelism, Steve Hollinghurst (Culturally sensitive approaches)
Right Here Right Now- Everyday Mission for Everyday
People, Alan
Hirsch
Out of the Saltshaker, Rebecca Manley Pippert (why we share our faith)
Making Life
Work, Bill Hybels (good for
addressing all areas of life)
Inside Out, Larry
Crabb (good for those who want to dig deep and bring change in their life)
Prayer,
Philip Yancey (good for addressing questions about prayer)
Or
anything else which would feed your souls and minds as you grow in faith and
understanding.
Some good questions you
could ask from time to time which will aid accountability…
- What
has God been saying to you through his word?
- What
encouraged you most last week?
- How
are your relationships with people at work, home and church?
- How
are your close relationships?
- What
mistakes have you made and how have you handled them?
- What
opportunities have you had to share your faith and how did you use them?
- What
do you need to do to be a more effective missionary disciple?
- What
did you watch and read last week? How is your thought life?
- What
can I be praying for in the coming week?
- Is
your life a good example to those around you? If not what are you going to do
about it?
These guidelines (based
on guidelines produced by the church see Appendix 3) were written by Giles
Knight, July 2011
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Matthaei, S. H., Faith Matters:
Faith-Mentoring in the Faith Community (Valley Forge: Trinity Press, 1996)
McCallum, D., Organic
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Megginson, D., Coaching and
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Murray, S., Changing Mission:
Learning From the Newer Churches (London: Churches Together in Britain and
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Oak, J., Called to Awaken the
Laity (Fearn: Christian Focus Publications, 2006)
Prior, S., Mentoring to Transform
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Pue, C., Mentoring Leaders:
Wisdom for Developing Character, Calling, and Competency (Grand Rapids:
Baker Books 2005)
Robinson, M., & Smith, D., Invading
Secular Space: Strategies for Tomorrow’s Church (Oxford: Monarch Books 2003)
Sanders, M., The Power of Mentoring: Shaping People Who Will Shape the World
(Camp Hill: Wing Spread Publishers, 2004)
Saxon, J., ‘Empowering the Local Church Through Mentoring’ PhD
Dissertation, Reformed Theological Seminary, (Portland: Theological Exchange
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Sellner, E. C., Mentoring: The
Ministry of Spiritual Kinship (Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 1990)
Stott, J. R. W., Christian
Mission in the Modern World (Leicester: IVP, 1975)
—, One
People (Ada: Revell, 1982)
—, The
Message of Thessalonians (Leicester: IVP, 1991)
—, The
Message of Timothy & Titus (Leicester:
IVP, 1997)
Thomas, V., Future Leader:
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Young, T., After the Fishermen:
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Hirsch, A., ‘Defining Missional’, available from
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[Accessed 22nd May 2010]
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Purcell, J ‘Coaching the Discipling Leader’, available from http://www.coach22.com/discover-coaching/resources/coachingthedisciplingleader.htm [Accessed 19th May 2010]
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[2] 20-29
year olds church attendance has fallen by 62% from a total of 520,000 in 1985
to 230,600 by 2005. Walker K., 20-30’s
and the church: A statistical overview (produced for the Sept 2009 consultation) http://www.eauk.org/theology/upload/20-30s-and-the-church-A-Statistical-Overview.pdf (Accessed 6/10/2010) refers to the source Brierley P., Pulling
out of the Nosedive: A Contemporary Picture of Churchgoing - What the 2005
English Church Census Reveals
(London: Christian Research Association 2006)
[3]
For example Engstrom,
The Fine Art of Mentoring, Horsfall, Mentoring for Spiritual Growth, Lewis, Mentoring Matters
[4]
See the discussion of this issue in chapter 2
[5]
Although this is a legitimate position to hold they do not discuss this
assumption but do often refer to Jesus ‘mentoring’ which was clearly not done
on the same one to one basis most authors write about.
[6]
See particularly Oak, Called to awaken
the laity
[7]
This is probably the most significant limiting factor on the size of the group
as people generally feel less inclined to be open and therefore be accountable
in larger groups
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